Written for the “Henry Lawson Festival” in 2009 in Country Australia (the most famous Australian poet). I put on the local accent, I tried to “send up” the Australian humour, I tried to give glory to God in the end. But it was “too left-field”. The outback Aussies didn’t get it. The claps at the end was a courtesy thing only…oh well…
Here is the live reading…
Can you imagine in the early days
about Noah and his ark,
Would you have laughed at this bearded bloke
who thought he was some bright spark,
See, dad had the gall to tell us all
that it was gonna rain,
My brother bluey laughed and said
“Dad, the rain in Spain only falls on the plains (mate).
But Bluey got a bit worried
when the animals started to herd,,
And what really got his goat
was this massive flightless bird,
“Great grand dad Adam named him”
Noah dad yelled out while I peaked,
This Emu was an ugly thing
you shoulda seen his beek !.
But what made Bluey laughed the most
was this animal that just hopped,
The rotten sod just hopped his way
through his high protein crops,
Bluey never seen such a funny thing
he was glad he couldn’t run,
‘Cos Bluey yelled out to my dad Noah
“quick Dad, pass me the gun” (that’s for the farmers).
But Noah said, “wait a minute
or you’ll be a failure,
You have to take the kangaroo
to a place that’s called Australia,
To help you with your trip down south
after this world ha had a little bath,
You can take another funny bird with you
one that has a laugh.
Stone the crows Bluey said
your not gonna give me the raw prawn are ya,
“No way” dad Noah said
it’s called the kookaburra,
But Bluey said “I want those animals
without those weird and funny names,
like ’emu’ and ‘platypus’ and ‘kangaroo’, ‘goanna’
please stop playin’ ya games.
“Nahhh” said dad Noah, A sense of humour
is what you Aussies need,
The kooka will teach you Aussies how to laugh
and to laugh at yourself indeed,
And if ya get a croaky throat
take those birds you see afar,
‘Cos you’ll sound either like a Cockatoo
or that funny pink Galah.
“Please don’t call me a Galah” he said
to dad Noah as he gave a sigh,
Just for that dad Noah said
“you can take with you all the flies”,
So Bluey left the family behind
to populate the Earth,
He found his way to Australia
where his kids would have their birth.
Now Bluey’s kids get to enjoy
Australia and it’s treasures,
the wonder of creation
God’s blessings without measure,
Now, Bluey is glad when he gets to enjoy
His Saviour int he land down under,
For surely the God of creation
is definitely the greatest wonder !.