A man from the Canadian Mounties
Joined the Strathclyde police,
Seconded to tame the gangs
Of the inner Glasgow streets.
But on one sunny day
In Southern Lanarkshire,
A horse escaped from its stable
To bring some local fear.
So they called our Canadian pal
To see how he rides a horse,
And if he could tame the stallion
In the style of the Canadian force.
As he approached the GG
It let the man sit on its back,
Who bragged to his uniformed pals
“See I ain’t no Mountie hack”.
But slowly creeping behind
Sergeant Jock gave the horse a wack,
The horse responded in kind
And bolted with its rider bear back.
To the shock of our Mountie friend
Being scared he’ll hit the deck,
Grabbed the horse real tight
With sleeper hold around its neck.
But the horse just panicked more
And ran as fast as it could,
With the pride of the mounted police
‘Round it’s neck straight into the wood.
So the rest of the police on duty
followed the horse and its jockey,
Laughing and running so hard
Thinking of jokes that could mock him.
They eventually found the horse
Without our Mountie friend,
For the horse threw off Canadian pride
When their run had come to and end.
Now if you ask our Mountie friend
“Do you ride horses anymore”,
He’ll smile and wink as he tells you
“I’ve never ridden a horse before”.
Note : this is a true story. A Strathclyde (Glasgow) policeman told me so it must be true