British TV weather report…

For tomorrow’s weather, here is Peter “never check last night’s prediction” Hall…

Hello and welcome again for more news
To make ya laugh or cry in your pews

The weather across Britain is the same as usual
Now now, why on Earth did you think of a funeral ?

The hot air from Africa means some air will go oop
Mixed with cold air from the Atlantic will make some pea soup.

There’s been no rain for 3 days, we’ve gone without
Brace yourselves for a terrible miserable drought !.

But it will rain again in 2 days time
Breaking the drought without even trying.

The next day the sun will come out
So enjoy it while you can for one hour.

For then the weather will be the same
As it was today for it’ll start to rain.

Followed by wind and sleet then snow 
All in one day mixed with wind that will blow.

The rain horizontal to the land you’ll see
Watering your plants and melting snow for free.

For not only is Britain the land of hope and glory
But also the land of the coat and brolly.

So sit and enjoy your flashy backgrounds of Britain
And the two minutes of entertainment while you are sittin’ !

Back to you at the news desk…make sure you believe everything you have just heard…

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